I have turned a corner and there was pesto

I've had a very emotionally draining week this week. Most of it does not need to be mentioned in a public blog for various and sundry reasons. But the big thing I've noticed, going into my ninth week of Weight Watchers (weigh in is tomorrow), is that I have broken the cycle of emotional eating.

Honestly, it's been an emotionally draining year for a whole other set of various and sundry reasons. However, before I started WW, when that awful gnawing feeling in my tummy happened, I would soothe it with a peanut butter fudge shake, first from Sonic, then realizing I could make them cheaper and better (and bigger servings), at home.

In the past week, I have written two papers, taken a final exam, hosted a gathering at my parents' house, sold the car my grandmother gave me, drove said car to Atlanta, saw my in-laws on my own for the first time, saw old friends, got peed on by the friend's kid (it's ok, it didn't smell bad, just made cuddling time a little more moist at the GA Aquarium), had a negative encounter that ended very badly, found out some somewhat bad news from the hubby, had my sewing machine break (again), and threw away a lot of stuff we've been saving for no reason because we didn't know how to let go. The me of four months ago would have immediately brought out the ingredients (because the me four months ago would have already had the blender out as a permanent fixture on the counter) for the milkshake a number of times in the last week. The me of now put the blender away in a cabinet last week when I was decluttering the kitchen and is not particularly interested in getting it out. It's a pain to clean and it's in a high cabinet and I'm only 5'2".

When I was having a low day yesterday, due to exhaustion, dehydration and my depression getting the better of me, I did not eat a super heavy meal at my parents' house that would have made me feel sick. Instead, I went home and ate some carrot sticks and hummus and went to bed. I've heard the phrase "Eat to live, don't live to eat" a lot over the years (people tend to say it to heavy girls a lot). However, I have finally reached that point where I'm eating to live. I plan my meals out as best I can, with much help from the WW iPhone app. I try to make good choices, but I also occasionally splurge and have a burger and fries, but I make good choices later to make up for it. I am by no means perfect, but I certainly feel a lot better about myself now than I did six months ago.

Speaking of feeling better. Here is one of my new favorite recipes that makes me feel good about my food.:

Pesto Genovese

Recipe Type: Appetizer

Author: Tamara Novakovic

Prep time: 15 mins

Total time: 15 mins

Ingredients

• 4 cloves garlic (I love garlic)
• some sea salt
• 3 cups (150 g) fresh basil leaves
• 1/2 cup (50 g) Parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup (30 g) Pecorino cheese
• 1/3 cup (50 g) walnuts (you can use some other nuts, but walnuts are almost always on sale)
• 7 tbsp (100 ml) olive oil
• pinch of nutmeg

Instructions

1. I took my food processor and ran it with the garlic and some sea salt.
2. I then added the fresh basil leaves and pureed them.
3. I added grated Parmesan cheese and Pecorino cheese with the walnuts (which I used instead of pine nuts because they're way cheaper), a pinch of nutmeg. I pureed everything together and in the end combined it with the olive oil.

Recipe by Honest Cooking at http://honestcooking.com/2011/05/03/italy-pesto-genovese-with-walnuts/

I discovered this recipe courtesy of a friend several weeks ago when I mentioned that I have a massive basil plant that is always full of more leaves than I can handle. I keep a jar of minced garlic in my fridge, and anyone that knows me knows of my love for cheese, so if I don't have parmesean and pecorino, I use more of one or the other or substitute asiago. The beautiful thing about this recipe is that it can be adapted. I add more garlic than the original recipe because I love garlic, but there are people that are not fans. I've marinated chicken breasts in this pesto and cooked it on the grill. My brother has asked for "That Green Chicken" three times since I made it last month.